BA.XO.LA.SÁ.ßA.NAS the texas hill country

// Send me your happy thoughts, prayers, hopes, good vibes. //

Guys, I am anxious. Extremely anxious. I need funding for graduate school and find out in about a week whether or not I will receive any.

Whatever the outcome, I need my virtual friends to support me emotionally through this stressful, stressssful waiting period.

Convertible PT cruisers are probably the saddest thing I’ve seen since cool youth pastors.

One day I will write a book called “Will Finish Later”

It will be a bad-ass book about a couple of friends trying to tell a very cool story. Unfortunately, as we all know, memory fails us. So these friends, I don’t think, ever get around to finishing their story because they are constantly trying getting their facts straight. All of this for naught, because what one person believed actually happened is what another thinks is what was supposed to happen. They put a TBD on that section, intending to finiah later, and move on to another tale. After several tales marked with TBD, they decide to put a giant yellow post-it on the manuscript itself with the giant words marked in Sharpie “WILL FINISH LATER” and the friends carry on with their lazy lives.

Chapter 3: Everyone gets drunk and tries to write as much as possible about how they feel until passing out

Chapter 4: Immediately upon waking up, they all write about their hangover. Because they all wake up with hangovers.

Klaus to Roger as Roger holds a magazine of US Weekly up to Klaus’ face:

Why is there a hole on Daniel Craig’s face?

Roger, avoiding eye contact:

He was hungry and I was feeding him something.

A lady at work today told me about the tattoo that her idiot friend got last weekend:

"You know that stupid saying YOLO? Well, my idiot friend goes and gets real big on his arm: BORN TO YOLO. He is so dumb! He also has another one on the other arm of a giant slice of pizza that says, ‘Money, pizza, respect.’"

Me:

"He will never regret those."

thisisfusion:

Earlier this week more than 30 young people who grew up in the U.S. without papers turned themselves in to immigration authorities with hopes of being granted asylum. Many were deported, while others returned when their family members were forcibly removed.

Jaren Rodriguez Orellana, 20, literally had to go back to the most dangerous city in the world, San Pedro Sula, Honduras. He’s been stabbed, his house has been shot at and he’s been threatened with murder if he doesn’t pay gangsters $250 U.S. dollars each month.

He was the first person in the group to enter immigration custody.

Want more on this story? Visit Fusion.net to read “Deported Dreamers Fleeing Violence Fight to Come Home.”

theatlantic:

The Plight of Conservative Comedy: Where’s The Right’s Daily Show?

Fox News has astronomically high ratings. Rush Limbaugh rules talk radio. But liberals dominate political comedy. The few attempts to create a conservative satire show have either not found mainstream success (News Busted, a YouTube series with views typically in the low 30,000s), aired far outside of prime time (Red Eye, filling Fox’s 3 a.m. slot), or been promptly cancelled (Half Hour News Hour, with 13 episodes on Fox). Are right-leaning satires doomed to failure?
The creators of Flipside don’t think so. Their once-a-week program, in the vein of The Daily Show or The Colbert Report but with a generally conservative tilt, hosted by comedian Michael Loftus, will premiere this fall. Can it work?
Read more. [Image: Michael Loftus; Fox News; Comedy Central]


I’ve been curious about this my whole life

theatlantic:

The Plight of Conservative Comedy: Where’s The Right’s Daily Show?

Fox News has astronomically high ratings. Rush Limbaugh rules talk radio. But liberals dominate political comedy. The few attempts to create a conservative satire show have either not found mainstream success (News Busted, a YouTube series with views typically in the low 30,000s), aired far outside of prime time (Red Eye, filling Fox’s 3 a.m. slot), or been promptly cancelled (Half Hour News Hour, with 13 episodes on Fox). Are right-leaning satires doomed to failure?

The creators of Flipside don’t think so. Their once-a-week program, in the vein of The Daily Show or The Colbert Report but with a generally conservative tilt, hosted by comedian Michael Loftus, will premiere this fall. Can it work?

Read more. [Image: Michael Loftus; Fox News; Comedy Central]

I’ve been curious about this my whole life

Bryan Cranston and Aaron Paul attend DreamWorks Pictures Need For Speed screening after party at Jimmy At The James Hotel on March 11, 2014 in New York City

(Source: bryancranston, via popculturebrain)

newsweek:

The world is celebrating the 25th birthday of the Web on Wednesday, and that’s because 25 years ago a proposal was written describing the basis for what would become the system of linked pages on which users read this article.
In March 1989, British computer scientist Tim Berners-Lee wrote the proposal for a “global hypertext system,” which would eventually become the World Wide Web. That proposal can be seen in its original form online. At first, the point of the Web was to simply to improve the communication and management of information at the organization where Berners-Lee worked — CERN the European nuclear research group.
But eventually Berners-Lee realized that the Web could be used for much more.
LA Times: World Wide Web proposal was submitted 25 years ago today)

newsweek:

The world is celebrating the 25th birthday of the Web on Wednesday, and that’s because 25 years ago a proposal was written describing the basis for what would become the system of linked pages on which users read this article.

In March 1989, British computer scientist Tim Berners-Lee wrote the proposal for a “global hypertext system,” which would eventually become the World Wide Web. That proposal can be seen in its original form online. At first, the point of the Web was to simply to improve the communication and management of information at the organization where Berners-Lee worked — CERN the European nuclear research group.

But eventually Berners-Lee realized that the Web could be used for much more.

LA Times: World Wide Web proposal was submitted 25 years ago today)

newsweek:

Newsweek spoke with Dmirtry Yarosh, 42, a leader of the once obscure right wing group that is now at the center of a geopolitical standoff between Russia and the United States.
Q: Is it true that you have been training Right Sector forces for over 20 years?
A: I was training paramilitary troops for almost 25 years. Although we just came out of the revolution, my guys are continuing military training all across Ukraine, ready to cleanse the country of the occupiers.
Q: How many are you?
A: I cannot give you the exact number, as our structure and divisions are constantly growing all over Ukraine, but over 10,000 people for sure. We have certain preconditions for our recruits: patriotism and other criteria for proper behavior.
Q: Are you aware that a Moscow court is trying you for calling for terrorist actions against Russia?
A: That is Putin’s idea. He is a political corpse.
Q: Do you have many war veterans in your ranks? Are your forces a part of Ukraine’s army?
A: As soon as Russia declared the war we recruited retired officers, generals of the interior ministry and security agencies. We are coordinating our actions with the council of the National Security and Defense, as well as with the army’s General Headquarters. We are currently negotiating to put our forces on a proper legal footing.
MORE Exclusive: Dmitry Yarosh, the Man Who Launched the Ukrainian Revolution, Speaks

newsweek:

Newsweek spoke with Dmirtry Yarosh, 42, a leader of the once obscure right wing group that is now at the center of a geopolitical standoff between Russia and the United States.

Q: Is it true that you have been training Right Sector forces for over 20 years?

A: I was training paramilitary troops for almost 25 years. Although we just came out of the revolution, my guys are continuing military training all across Ukraine, ready to cleanse the country of the occupiers.

Q: How many are you?

A: I cannot give you the exact number, as our structure and divisions are constantly growing all over Ukraine, but over 10,000 people for sure. We have certain preconditions for our recruits: patriotism and other criteria for proper behavior.

Q: Are you aware that a Moscow court is trying you for calling for terrorist actions against Russia?

A: That is Putin’s idea. He is a political corpse.

Q: Do you have many war veterans in your ranks? Are your forces a part of Ukraine’s army?

A: As soon as Russia declared the war we recruited retired officers, generals of the interior ministry and security agencies. We are coordinating our actions with the council of the National Security and Defense, as well as with the army’s General Headquarters. We are currently negotiating to put our forces on a proper legal footing.

MORE Exclusive: Dmitry Yarosh, the Man Who Launched the Ukrainian Revolution, Speaks

Sometimes I feel encouraged and inspired enough to start wanting to become a fun-loving, energetic, inspiring person. Then I remember how much I genuinely hate humanity.